Communication Is Key

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Question: How do we keep communication strong with our tween Grandchildren, even when we are generations apart and live hundreds of miles away?

Answer: It’s a Zombie Apocalypse!  No, really, it is.

Certainly we are not a technologically challenged family.  We have had and used computers from the time that 8 GIGs took up half an office.  You could actually walk though the server columns.  My daughter remembers when the internet was DOS chat rooms.  Those days are definitely remnants of the past.  Now, you only have to buy a cell phone and activate the service and you can access the web from anywhere, emailing, blogging, surfing away your life. To think, we are only sixty years apart, but I never dreamed as a child that I could call someone without telephone wires, and my youngest grandchildren will probably never even know what a DVD or CD is, they will stream all their movies and music and might never carry a textbook if Apple gets it’s way.

That said, the cost of these services can be prohibitive, but most sixth graders have cell phones, and my grandson has an Iphone.  So my husband and I recently jumped into the world of Iphones too, and wow, are we ever amazed that we lived without them.

If you happen to have one of these phones, and you also happen to have a tween or teen that has one of these phones (or an Ipad or iPod, or a Droid) that has apps, this is your chance to connect with them every day.  Get a shared gaming app they play with their friends, like Zombie Farm or Words with Friends, and suggest that you two start-up a little friendly competition of your own.  Bonus points in Grandma-land:  you look cool, you look smart, and you get to beat the pants off the twelve-year-old!

If you are techno-shy, which I totally understand, all you have to do is:

1. Call your daughter or son and find out of your grandchild has one of these types of cell phones or devices
2. Write down which one it is (is it a Droid, and Ipad, an Iphone, etc)
3. Ask your grandchild to come to the phone and find out what his favorite app is (you can start with the biggies: Mafia Wars, Zombie Farm, Hanging with Friends, Words with Friends) – you may have to supply these suggestions if you have a grunter like I do: one grunt for yes I play it, two grunts for no.
4. Get their user name – this may be called a “gamer tag” in tween lingo, but you need this to invite them to a game.
5. Tell them you love them and miss them.
6.  Walk into a service provider (think Verizon, Apple, Sprint, T-mobile) and let them know you want to know what their rate plans are to allow you to download apps (and specifically to play the app your grandchild plays – from the grunted answer).
7. Pick the least expensive plan that meets your needs.  If you want bells and whistles, that is up to you, but don’t be fooled into having to have them.  If you only talk on a cell phone five hundred minutes a month do not buy unlimited talk for an extra $10.00 per month – by going the app play route, you will probably talk less because the grunts get shorter.
8. Have the guy at the store you choose set up your phone: transfer your numbers in, fix the ring to something you can stand, and download the apps you want for you.  They will do this if you ask. In fact, I like making them fix all my settings and do a tutorial at the same time, I hate trying to do set ups at home and I figure for the cost of these phones I should get a little TLC from the guy at the desk.
9. Open the app, set up you own gamer tag – something like “gramma rocks” “im gonna beat u bad” and shoot off an invite.

My grandson and I play both together – the free versions.  We love checking our farms for onion-head carrot arm creatures, debating the best way to grow a turnip arm-broccoli head zombie, and we love trying to best each other in a game of scrabble (I usually win, he is a twelve-year-old boy, after all).  This little game playing takes about ten minutes of my time a day, but it has really connected us through the distance in a way the texting and emailing and phone calls have not.  Sure, it is not the same as sitting around the table on family game night, but it is a far cry from the grunting and three-letter texts I get when I try to call.  And maybe one day he’ll scrabble me the name of the girl he’s dating or the college he hopes to get into.  If all it takes to connect with a tween is a Zombie Apocalypse, sign me up!

Related articles

• Grandparenting in the Digital Age (education.com)

Raising Grandchildren

According to recently released census figures, eight percent of American children lived at a grandparent’s home in 2010. That’s a record high for at least the last 40 years, and almost four times the rate in 1970. And to put that into perspective for you, only 13 percent of us have reached retirement age!  Demographers attribute that increase to a growing number of unemployed young parents who are relying on the older generation for help.

In the past, grandparent-led households were seen disproportionately among certain groups, like African American grandmothers. But now, with the widespread impact of the recession, active grand-parenting is increasing across the board.

The financial plans that you may have made based upon traditional frameworks: taking care of each other, your home, vacationing, just being your average, retired older couple, are likely now being redefined.  Many people who relied on pensions and government plans, like social security, or saw their investments dwindle by 40%, are finding that the dollar just doesn’t go quite as far when there are additions to the household.

Setting new expectations for retirement is key to achieving financial security and happiness.  It is important to start with knowing what you will do – With grandchildren in your house you are Retiring TO Something… not away from something.

1. Start by Making  Goals

What is it that you want to accomplish in your retirement?  Do you want more time with your family?  Have you always wanted to volunteer your time to a cause you believe in?  Do you want to wake up every morning and have a quiet cup of coffee?  Your goals are as unique as you, and no two people will have the same ideas, start your retirement off by defining yours!  Then figure out how to work your grandchildren into them, most charities can always use extra hands, even if they are small.  Coffee can be just as enjoyable fifteen minutes before everyone else wakes up, and perhaps a tea party with Teddy can substitute if you have very early risers.  A little planning and you can have your cake and eat it too!

2. List Your Likes and Dislikes

Everyone has things they like to do, and things they do not like to do.  List them out.  Teach your grandchildren about the things you enjoy doing so you can spend your time together on those activities.  I taught my then-ten year old grandson to crochet. He loved having his younger cousins use the blankets or wear the hats he made with my extra yarn. 

3. Know Your Expertise

Are you an expert salsa dancer or do you know your fine arts? Can you make technology hum like Steve Jobs?  Are you a financial wiz?  Share what you are great at with your grandchildren.  School can only teach the basics, it is the adults that surround them that they learn from.

4. Stay Active

Kids are a sure fire way to keep us moving!  And exercise and activity are important for staying healthy long into your retirement.  Take advantage of toting that six month old, shifting her from left to right arm to maintain equal balance.  Get up and play kick with your toddler, it improves their hand eye coordination and provides you with cardiovascular benefits.  Sure, it might make you want to take a nap when they go down, but hey, why not? You’re retired!

5. Do Your “Homework” Every Week

A tip often repeated by single mothers everywhere is plan out your week in advance like it is a job. Then you will know what you have to accomplish and how much to budget for it, and you can adjust if you are lean on time or money in advance.   Know when you will have the grandkids, and what you are going to do each day you have them.  Is this week Cinderella’s Adventures, and everyday your princess troupe is going to read stories and watch movies about Cinderella, make up new stories of their own about what happens next, make crowns out of construction paper, and put on mouse noses or bird beaks during clean up time?  Make every day special by taking the time to think though how you can show your grandchildren you love having them with you.

Related articles

• BYU study says children kinder when grandparents are involved ()
• Grandparents Raising Grandchildren! (eviesgardens.com)

Valentines Day Treats

Valentine’s Day just would not be complete without a special meal or treat for your Grandkids.  But how can you do this without breaking the bank?  We have some suggestions for using your everyday meals… but putting a heart felt-twist on them to make sure your grandkids LOVE them!

Heartwarming Mini Pizzas!

Use fresh dough shaped into a heart, or take bagel thins and a cookie cutter to make heart-shaped bagels.  Let the kids add sauce, shredded cheese, and bake!

 

English Muffin Hearts

Using a cookie butter, stamp out a heart shape of the English muffin.  Topped with butter and jelly, they make the perfect breakfast or after school snack.

 

 

Lemon Love Potion

Pink lemonade, a scoop of raspberry sherbet, and lemon lime soda mix to make a love potion nobody can resist.  Serve in a glass with straws to really impress your sweetheart.

 

Heartfelt Pancakes

Using your own pancake recipe, shape your breakfast cakes into hearts on the griddle.  A warm way to start this special day and let your grandchildren know you love them.

 

 

Daily Adventures On The Cheap

One of the best parts about being a grandparent is the joy of taking daily adventures.  You are no longer bound by the conventional workweek and relegated to the cattle call of the weekend warrior, that rat-race is for your kids to deal with.  And the best part about mid-week adventuring (other than the smiles your Clouseau-lik

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spirit will earn you), is they can almost always be Done On The Cheap!

My Top Five Favorite Places to Find On-The-Cheap Adventure.

1. Your Local Library

No longer the hallowed halls that we remember where bookish ladies glared at a rambunctious child and hissed “Shhh”, Library services have increased dramatically in the past few years, offering not only books, but popular magazines, DVDs, and free internet access to members.  For grandparents like me who have a wide age range (12 years all the way down to 1 month), your local library can be just the solution: free story time, crafts, and puppet shows for the youngest and controlled internet usage for your tweener.

2. Your Local  Community Parks and Recreation Department

Although not all offer programs, our city offers many low-cost activities, and not just to school-agers.  You can find everything from subsidized tennis lessons, dance lessons, art classes, and girls’ running clubs to preschool activities.  We are very fortunate and our city also organizes guide-led hikes for a minimal transportation cost.  Every season, our Parks and Recreation Department issues a catalog that is available for viewing on the internet or by stopping by their community center.  This has upcoming programs as well as dates and locations for great free or very low cost city-sponsored activities, like Fourth of July festivities, parades, and community gatherings.

3. The Closest Shopping Center

I can hear the groans.  Shopping malls are a money trap for many, and if you fall into this group, skip to idea 4.  I am trying to save your dollar, not spend it!  But if you are gifted with the ability to deftly side-step that 40% off sale at Ann Taylor, your local mall is a fantastic climate controlled adventure spot.  Because the primary spender in the American household is the mom, most malls are set up to not just accommodate, but cater to families!  That means not only clean family friendly restrooms but also indoor playgrounds with security.  Check around: several also advertise play date times for younger ages, mommy clubs, and stroller exercise groups.  A few of the higher end shopping centers have play fountains, schedule child-friendly shows with favorite cartoon friends, or fashion shows for that mini-fashionista in your family.

4. The Park in Your Neighborhood

I am willing to bet that you probably drive past a playground everyday on your way to fancier, far more expensive adventures.  The sun, the swings, the slides, the smell of grass you didn’t have to cut.  It all adds up to on-the-cheap fun for the whole family.  Dying to make it extra special?  Pack a cooler with a picnic and surprise the kids with juice or a favorite treat.  Spread a blanket out and let them run wild while you enjoy the sunset, walking back for baths and bed.  You don’t even have to come up with gas money for this one.  Just don’t forget the sunblock!

5. Your Backyard

That’s right, your very own.  Get out the bubbles, turn on the sprinklers.  Turn the radio up to your grandchildren’s favorite “jams” and have a dance party.  Chalk is about the most inexpensive, non-permanent way to start a game of four-square, hop-scotch, or re-create the Louvre, and it can be done two steps from your door.  I have spent many happy days seated on the porch surrounded by pinks and blues and yellows.  A simple Tupperware jar can become a bug collectors’ dream as your grandson marvels at an ants’ legs or a grasshoppers’ wings.  All you have to do is supply a little imagination to the setting and your backyard can become a Wonderland to rival the one Alice got lost in.  No shrinking juice or white rabbits required.