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One of the most amazing things I take away from spending my days with my Grandchildren, especially my twelve year old grandson, is that they have absolutely no concept that my husband and I are – OLD! They look at us in the same the category as their parents, people who are older, who tell them what to do, who take care of them, who love and accept them. They do not have any inkling that we have all the things that come along with natural aging: arthritis, the occasional lapse of memory, cardiac or high blood pressure.
That does not mean that I am not aware of it, though. And I think to myself, how can I make a memory that will last? My oldest daughter remembers her grandmother waiting inside by the snow to help her strip down and warm herself by the stove after making snow angels. My youngest son remembers that his grandmother always had cheese puffs. My middle child remembers golfing with her grandmother. Each of these memories are instances that my children smile, even though now that they are approaching middle age, excepting my husband’s mother, their grandparents have been gone from us for several years.
One national survey of grandparents reported that a variety of activities were engaged in with grandchildren such as:
- Joking and kidding
- Giving money
- Talking about growing up
- Giving advice
- Discussing problems
- Going to church/synagogue
- Providing discipline
- Taking a day trip
- Teaching a skill or game
- Watching TV together
- Talking about parent/child disagreements
I recently read an article that suggested memorializing your life history on tape. That is definitely an option, but my family tends to put more value on playing together. We go to our grandchildren’s sporting events and dress up with beads or pom-poms from our local party store in their team colors. We like to attend dance recitals and school events like art shows, science fairs, or plays and bring flowers from the backyard for a job well done.
I suggest making a list (or using the one above as a starter) to think about what you can do to create a memory and plan it out. One of my girlfriends who does not live in the same state as her grandchildren has annual summer “Grandma Camp” where she flies the kids out and takes them on an exhausting whirlwind week full of things that the kids love to do. Everyone looks forward to that – mom and dad get a weekend to “get away” and she gets to create a tradition to pass down. But whatever you do, cherish it, just like when your children were little, your grandchildren will also grow up, and you are a valuable contributor to that process!
GrandmaCents 